my happiness was never your happiness

Some dreams I think we are born with.
They have been in our hearts for as long as we can remember.
No matter how hard we try to ignore them, deny them, and even betray them, they so softly come knocking back at our door like a loyal friend.

I've had one of those dreams...all my life.
Years and years....that's how long I've had this dream.
But, this dream is not a one person can make it true kind of dream.

I needed you to make it come true.
One year you said, "Just wait."
The next year you said, "I don't think so."
Another year you said, "We just can't do it."
A few years later you said, "We will when such and such happens."
Such and such happened, but you denied and lied.
The pain was intense because I realized not only was my dream never going to come true, but that your definition of love was not the same as mine.

So I gave up my dream.... or so I thought.
I had a visit from my dream just a few weeks ago.
They were some of the happiest days.
I felt complete for the first time in my life.
You must not have been as happy as me.
You said if I was happy then that was what made you happy.
Very suddenly, the dream ended, and my tears began.
You sweetly said, "I wish there was something I could do."
There's another lie.

My happiness was never your happiness.